Why did the alligator cross the street? (Or try to?) For the same stupid
reason that the chicken did. (Only the chicken made it.)
I'm from the Northeast, and I've hit a few things in my life (or they've
hit
me): deer, raccoons, skunks, that sort of thing. The thud against the car
is
sickening (in the latter case so is the olfactory aftermath), but nothing
in
my colorful list of kills prepared me for what lurked behind those
weird,
little red lights (which I later understood to be eyes).
Split
seconds later,
the headlights clarify the nature of the thing over which I am about to
barrel. Hold on tight to the steering wheel and mutter (incredulously),
"Crocodile!" Then, (most incredulously), I feel it necessary to correct
myself, "Alligator!" "Whatever; keep driving!"
Bizarre! Had this been the
Everglades, or even Alligator Alley at eleven o'clock at night, it would
be one thing, but here in the heart of watermelon, cattle, and citrus
land?
In the remaining half-hour of the trip home, I struggle to put
some order into this experience and draw out the inherent lessons (lurking
like the red eyes--not immediately recognized) with which to edify
myself. The best I can do, other than, "don't travel at night," is to
ponder the unpredictability of what happens, and the play of timing and
luck and that sort of thing.
Relieved to be home, I inspect for
damage. Basically a fender-bender; however a flap of some part of the
under-carriage has come loose, and for a moment I think I have dragged
home the undead habius crocodile.
There is a part of my heart that
beats to the likes of Edgar Allen Poe and Stephen King. Had I not, after
all, offended some ancient rule of the swamp? An upsetting of the
primordial cart? Alas, my tires had tread where angels wouldn't be
caught dead, and now the evening would crank out that which had
been unleashed.
I was to meet my untimely end in a car-port in
central Florida, in the jaws of a runned-over, scaly, big reptile.
But no!
The reptilian revenge was verbal; from its snout came the
unmistakable snide remark, "A woman driver!"
I turned on my heel and
headed for the house. Once in the door I said, "See you later,
Alligator!"
--Nimrod