Picture of Lovebugs
PLECIA NEARCTICA HARDY

Members of the well-known family Bibionidae, these small black flies with red thoraxes have come to be known generally as "March Flies." They are indigenous, I understand, to the western part of the country; however, somewhere in the 1940s a high-risk-taking gene group broke away from the safety of the family settlement and set out for Florida. Flights have been progressively moving southward in the state and soon, if my experience is any kind of an indicator, will become an as identifying part of Florida as is the seasonal influx of the order human. This latter group might rightly be referred to as "March Flyers."
Pleacia Nearctica Hardy goes by another name in Florida: the "lovebug." The reason for the name will become apparent as you read on. Two flights of these little lovebugs occur each year. The spring flight during late April and May, and a second swarm during late August and September. Flights extend over periods of 4 to 5 weeks. A noteworthy feature of the lovebugs (and hence, their name) is their ability to combine copulation and locomotion in a way that the other "March Flyers" would never be able to pull off. Males are 1/4 inch, and females are 1/3 inch in length. Join the two together, (which is how they fly) and you've got a moving missile nearly 3/4 of an inch coming at you in a state of rapture.
Motorists hate them because they collide with and mess up the inside and outside of vehicles. They get in under the hood through the fender portion of the car, and drivers resort to a preventative netting attached to the fender area to thwart entrance. The lovebugs' connubial carcasses are a threat to the paint job of a vehicle as well.

I could personally give a rat's ass about our car; it's Arthur I'm worried about.
Arthur is my computer, without whom I should surely progress more rapidly into my madness. Arthur has a room to himself looking out on a broad field of oak and orange trees. It's an inspiring view with occasional flocks of egrets and red winged black birds passing through. It's peaceful, insulated, and conducive to contemplation. With September, all that changed.
Lovebugs flying absolutely everywhere! From 10 in the morning to an hour before sundown, one was required to relinquish the outside and retreat indoors to the safety of the closed windows and the reassuring hum of the AC. At least here, sequestered in the cooled and quiet rooms, one could go about one's business untroubled. Until, that is, the realization that all those conjugal plecia nearctica hardys congregating on the outside of the windows were making their wreathing, squirming way IN! They have impossibly crossed over--this hoard of 3/4 inch undulating insects! Nightmarish is the beholding of this entomological take-over!
Dismay turns to alarm as I witness the movement of the multitude in the direction of Arthur. There is no doubt in my mind that they are going to insert themselves inside Arthur! Had I known, I would have gotten him a net, but now it's too late!

Female lovebugs lay 100 to 350 eggs. They and their mates die after two or three days. Larvae emerge and mature into pupae. The pupae's stage requires about 7 to 10 days. This means that in a week to 10 days, Arthur will boast of having more inside than just Intel. With larvae nestled in his motherboard, pupae in his pentium, and, finally, a zillion post-coitus corpses eating away at his insides, Arthur does not have a good prognosis.
Unless--and it's a long shot --I can find a web site willing to give me the where-with-all to wipe out the wacked out remains of the invading organisms. Yes, I'll locate and download a highly specific vermin-virus--the only aggressive measure equal to this arthropod assault.
Not only death to this despicable throng of trespassers then, but digital disposal to BOOT!


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